I’ve been having so much angst the last few months over my fear of loosing myself to the roll of Mommy, that I decided to look for a resource to help me figure this whole thing out.
You guessed it. I bought a book.
Making Time for Mom-Me.
So the book is supposed to coach us moms on how to not loose ourselves in the roll of mom. It’s supposed to teach us to love ourselves, how to not be doormats, and how to make time to take care of ourselves.
You know what it taught me? I’m not doing so bad.
You’re going to laugh…but I apparently have the mindset already to keep this from happening. Who’d have thought that my general crankiness, my “I’m not going to be the only one doing this” attitude, had me on the right track?
Every time I went through a checklist or exercise in the book, I found I was pretty much doing OK. I know how to say no. I don’t take on more outside tasks than I can handle. I have no intention of ever cooking more than one meal for dinner. Hubby and I share the household chores already, because I told him when we got married that I was signing onto a partnership, not servitude. I’m not planning on having my kid signed up for so many activities that it’s all we do. I even have taken time out for me regularly. I get my blogs in. I get my emails and Facebook activities done. I stop at Weight Watchers once a week.
So what’s my problem then? Why all the angst?
Guilt. I feel damn guilty scrapbooking/gaming/exercising when I’ve already had Hubby watching DC for several hours so I could do all the chores. It’s all in my head. Guilt.
So what does this mean then? I think ultimately, it means that I just need to chill and keep following the path I’ve laid out so far. It’s an ok path for me. And I need to relax on the guilt. Hubby actually likes to hang out with DC. So I shouldn’t feel guilty, especially when he’s shoving me towards my craft desk and telling me to go scrapbook.
Can I do this? We’ll see. I think I’m going to sign up for a 13 week online scrapbooking class starting in January. That’ll be a good test. Relax…Chill…